Monday, April 20, 2020

Bobble Stitch Pattern # 10- Bunny

This was posted on my youtube a while back but I never posted it here. Oops. So here it is.


Red Heart Yarn White (any color)
Crochet Hook (H 5mm)
Tapestry Needle

Tuesday, April 7, 2020


Obvi super collagen protein is seriously the best tasting powder drink ever. And I hate powdered drinks; they always taste so chalky to me, but not this. This is seriously amazing and taste just like the cereals it says!! Give it a try, let me know what you think. :)

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Learning to Cope

Over the last year or so Dan and I have been dealing with a lot in secret just our family knowing what is going on. We finally have some answers on what is going on, but still learning as we go. Our daughter has been having what we thought were black outs due to Aura Migraines (her pediatrician even thought this). Then she started having clear seizures and the pediatrician did not refer us to a Neurologist yet. It took another 4 full blow seizures and ER visits before we got to this point of seeing a specialist. First visit to the Neurologist was Oct. 19, 2018, the doctor did a full Neuro work up on her, and everything seemed fine. I was under the impression that he knew how many seizures she had at this point, later on I learned he had no idea! Dr. Khuhro said she had Aura Migraines like her pediatrician had thought. I felt a sign of relief and was glad to know this was going to be put behind us. Welp, so I thought. March 2019, she had another full blown seizure and of course by this time I am a FREAKING mess, crying, shaking, worried about what is going on and what they will want to do. I called her Neurologist and he ordered and EEG which I knew was coming as the last one she had was when she was 2 years old (normal of course). Well, Daniel ended up switching jobs and we lost our insurance and could not make that EEG appointment, I let them know and they were okay with it. Weeks pass turning into months and finally I thought this is it!! Finally!! DONE!! She over came whatever it was. 10 months passed and boom she started puberty and full blown seizure again! Made a Neruo appointment and did the EEG. EEG came back abnormal. She has epilepsy! Never in my wildest dreams or thoughts did that cross my mind. Went to doctor appointment to discuss this all, he ordered lab work and an MRI. MRI turn out was normal, lab work was good expect a little low on Vitamin D. Ok, no big deal. So he puts her on Keppra for the seizures, and Vitamin D for 12 weeks (repeat labs after 12 weeks). Every 5 days since starting medication sometimes every 2 days, she had another seizure. Finally the doctor said we need to admit her to the hospital on 2/24/20 to do e Video EEG and catch a seizure happening. Mind you, this is 3 weeks after her diagnosis! 3 WEEKS! And we have done EEG, MRI, Lab work, VEEG and more!!

We went into the hospital not knowing what to expect but we knew if she did not have a seizure within 24 hours they would stop her medication and force one. We get to Nationwide Children's, checked in, changed into a gown, put into a room and hours later hooked up the EEG. We did not know what to expect but were hopeful that we would have answers. Dr. Taso ended up being her doctor for the duration of our hospital stay (Dr. Taso is from Teen Mom 2, Leah's daughters Dr. if his name sounded familiar that is him). We got introduced to her whole team that would be over seeing her care in the hospital, and let me just say THEY WERE ALL AMAZING! Made her feel so calm and relaxed. They explained everything they did before doing it which made her feel comfortable. So, we get dinner and the boys leave me and her in the room since they had to go home. All night, they came into the room waking her every couple hours for vitals; if I am being honest, I feel like this was done on purpose since lack of sleep is a big seizure trigger. That next morning, they woke her up at 7:20AM and she could not go back to sleep. Mind you, she does not get up for school until 8:45AM. Daniel and my son came back by 9:15AM luckily! We hung out, talked, laughed had a great time. Then boom! The facial twitching started, I hit that button on the EEG machine faster than I recall! I hit the nurse button just as fast. Nurse came in, was standing over her too. I thought oo she is laughing, false alarm, as I went to go pee I hear moaning! I knew! I knew and my hear sunk!!! !0:17AM she had a full 2 minute 30 second seizure. Nurse called everyone to the room; 7 nurses ran in all with something (IV, blood work as her doctor wanted blood right after a seizure to check levels, one had oxygen hooking up, one was holding her hand pinching her for reaction) then 4 doctors rush in. Everyone seen what happened, talked to her afterwards. Dr. Taso looked at us and he said 'she needs an increase in medication I can tell already but we will wait and see what Dr. Khuhro wants to do.' I felt to overwhelmed by all these doctors and nurses sort of pushing me aside. I am thankful that Daniel stood his ground and did not let them push him away. She came around, and was answering questions very slowly, sleepy, but still there. BTW its 2/25/20 at this point in the AM. The doctors let her rest and told me they would review the EEG to see if they caught what they needed.

Everyone finally left the room, gathered outside was all the nurses, all the doctors and 15 other people with 4 computer carts. I had no idea what was going on, or why so many people needed to be there. I was scared, shaking, almost in tears by this time. Why so many people?!! What in the world?!?! We decided to let her rest and not really bring it up. They did draw the blood almost as fast as the seizure happened and she was none the wise, had no idea. Around lunch time she woke up as the nurse came back in giving her another Keppra dose (they upped her medication) still at this point we had no idea the doctors were talking about her case and reviews the video/EEG. At 12:30PM the EEG tech came into the room and she cried her eyes out. You see, she was SOOOO itchy from the glue and very red/bumpy from it and was ready to take it off and shower. They got everything off, of course it hurt her. She ate lunch and showered. She felt so much better by this time. They ended up discharging us around 4:15PM after telling us they wanted to do a Genetic testing, blood work (THAT WAS A NIGHTMARE they blew her one vain and had to do it again after moving the needle 40 times in her vain!) to pinpoint what type of seizures she is having and if Keppra is really the best medication. At this point we all were exhausted I spelt maybe 2 hours since I had to watch her and hit that button just in case. We wanted to go home. Doctors upped her medication, and ordered her on another to help stop the seizures. The next morning she woke up feeling amazing, a little dizzy, and like she was gonna have a seizure but she was okay. Today, 02/27/20, she woke up like her 'old' self. So full of energy, so happy, so her!! She did not look super tired, super out of it like normal. Daniel and I bought thought, YES! This is it, she needed this increase and we are finally home free!! Labs came back, and sure enough her Keppra levels were a 13 (12 is the start/low end of norm). They were right to increase and they knew it. Well, it all changed again. Tonight around 9:30PM she had another full blown seizure. She was going to the bathroom, drawing, then about to brush her teeth, when I heard moaning again. I ran, heart racing screaming for Daniel. She almost hit her head on our bathroom vanity! I was just in time, I grabbed her laid her down. Screaming Daniel's name! He ran fast, grabbed her head. I ran grabbed my phone, turned timer on, grabbed a towel covered her, grabbed her rescue medication and sat on the floor next to her. This last 1 minute 55 seconds. She moaned a lot afterwards, and took her time coming back around. Once she was able to talk, she told me her name, my name Melinda and I am mom, she told me Daniel's name and he is dad. We let her rest a bit on the floor. She started sobbing! I mean uncontrollable! At one point she even laughed saying "I don't know why I am crying I just can't stop!" Daniel and I calmed her down, got her in PJ's, and had her brush her teeth. She was not dizzy, and was super alert. She knew what happened and knew it was in our bathroom again (second one in there). She begged Daniel and I to let her sleep with us crying we couldn't say no. She laid in bed in my arms, head on my chest crying. I comforted her, and told her everything was okay (by this time I already called her doctor and left a voicemail once again- I am so sure they are sick of me by now). We always, always put a wet rag on her forehead to cool her down and calm her nerves. I placed one upon her head, rubbed her back while she was laying on my chest and she was out fast asleep within minutes. Currently, she is laying right next to me, snoring away, but okay.

I do not know what the future holds for us or how it will look. All I know is I want her medication to start working. I understand it takes a while to build up in her system and I so get it, but as her mother I am sick of seeing her in pain. I know she is beyond done with this herself. She tells me all the time, why is it when I feel okay they happen! I don't know how to answer her. I just have no idea! This is our new normal I tell her and we will learn to figure it out as we go. I have no idea what the doctor will say tomorrow when they return my call and honestly, I cannot sleep thinking about it. I know she is okay, her MRI says so, her EEG showing seizure activity during the seizure tells me so. But still, as a mother we worry about our babies no matter how old they are and that will never ever change. I will keep fighting for her every single day, no matter what I will be strong for her. I might look like I am okay but inside I am dying!! This kills me!